Let’s get one thing straight: brushing hair shouldn’t be a full-body workout. But when you’ve got cerebral palsy, even the simple stuff turns into a gladiator match between your willpower and your body’s refusal to cooperate.

For the record, I wasn’t trying to start a trend or make a bold beauty statement. I just wanted to brush my damn hair.

But this wasn’t just any tangle. This was a full-blown, certified, sent-from-hell KNOT. The kind of knot that laughs in the face of detangler and dares you to try your luck with a brush one more time. And me, stubborn as ever, I tried. And tried. And tried.

Cue the left hand cramping. The arm spasms. The weird angles I had to bend at like I was auditioning for a Cirque du Soleil performance titled “Girl Fights Knot, Loses Sanity.” And that brush? It didn’t stand a chance. It’s probably still recovering in a corner somewhere.

By the time I was done (or more accurately, defeated), I looked in the mirror and realized the knot had won. But I wasn’t going to let it win everything.

So, I shaved it. Buzzed it right off. Bye-bye tangle, hello scalp. And honestly? I felt free. Powerful. Like Furiosa from Mad Max, if she had cerebral palsy and two kids screaming in the background asking, “MOM, WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Sometimes disability means picking your battles. Sometimes it means choosing peace over perfection. And sometimes it means buzzing your head because your arms have decided today’s not the day for detangling war.

And that’s okay. Because I may have lost the battle with the brush, but I came out on the other side looking fierce as hell—and a lot less tangled.

~Steph

HandicapableAF isn’t just a mood, it’s a lifestyle