Let’s be real.

If I had a dollar for every time someone assumed I couldn’t do something because of my disability, I’d have my dream barn, a boat upgrade, and probably my own reality show called “Watch Her Prove You Wrong.”

So buckle up, buttercup. Here are 10 things I absolutely crush—while limping, compensating, and not giving a single damn.

1. Reverse Parking a Boat Trailer

Your boyfriend? Still jackknifing at the ramp. Me? One leg braced, Bluetooth on blast, and not a single correction. I’m basically the Beyoncé of boat launch choreography.

2. Riding Dressage Like a Queen

Heels down? Eh, not my thing. Toes pointed like a ballerina? You bet. I can make my horse dance with more sass and skill than your spin class instructor—and I do it with cerebral palsy.

3. Parenting Like a Boss

Single. Disabled. Two kids. Lunches packed, appointments handled, homework done. I even remembered it was PJ day. Meanwhile, Karen forgot her kid at soccer again.

4. Diagnosing Your Boat (While You Panic)

I’m the one you call when your boat goes “thunk” and “won’t start.” You’re freaking out. I’m calm, cool, and diagnosing it with one look and a sarcastic comment.

5. Falling Gracefully (With Style)

Look, if I’m going down, it’s gonna be iconic. I once tripped over a hay bale and landed in a full pose that deserved applause. I’m a fall risk and a fashion statement.

6. Laughing at Ableism

“You’re so inspiring!”—random stranger at the gas station. Thanks, Brenda. I was just pumping fuel and existing, but go off. Let me know when you want an autograph.

7. Writing That Hits Different (For Some)

I write with wit, a little grit, and just enough bite to make certain people uncomfortable.

Most readers laugh.

A few read twice, wondering if it’s about them.

(It probably is.)

8. Owning My Hustle (No Elevator Needed)

I’ve got two kids, a boat, a horse, and a spine made of spite and determination. You climb the ladder—I’ll catapult over it.

9. Turning Trauma into Power

Born still. Seven minutes without breath. Told I’d “never do much.” Now I do too much. And I do it while limping past your expectations like they’re speed bumps.

10. Living HandicapableAF

This isn’t just a mood. It’s a lifestyle.

It’s showing up when it’s hard.

It’s kicking ass with a wonky gait.

It’s doing life your way, when the world says you shouldn’t.